Infertility: one size does not fit- plus update

Some things I have been pondering



When I think about infertility what kept coming I to my head I one size does not fit all.   Everyone's journey is so different.  What treatment is done or not done is different.   The outcome of everyone's journey while on earth is different. (I hope we all reach heaven one day, so our heavenly journey is the same! ).  You are probably wondering where I am going with this.

The catechism says that a couple should pursue all options that are inline with Catholic Church to grow they family.   But those too can and are different for each person.  Just because it is out there and valid does not mean you have to do it or should do it.   We need prayer to discern.  We cannot lead with our hearts or our heads, we need to get on our knees and pray for guidance.  We need to ask the Risen Lord who overcame death to save us to help us carry our cross and be triumphed.   We need to ask what is right for us, for our family.   

Why not just follow the heart?  The heart is fragile, it can be easily broken.  It can lead us down the emotional roller coaster every cycle.   Of all the parts, it longs to be a mother most.   If we only listen to that we could go down paths that would not inline with the church teaching.  It could lead to keep going when everything else is screaming stop.   Now it could also lead us to great joy and happiness, don't get me wrong.  But guard yourselves if you follow only the heart.

Why not the head?  Our intelligent is a gift from God.   With it we can know he exist, with reason our faith can grow.   But be warned we can over think things.  We can think what we are doing is right but it is not.   We can come up with a millions reasons and do a treatment or not do a treatment.  We can balance all the pros and cons of something to we are blue in the face.   When it comes to this journey of IF it can stop us to early or make us keep going.   

So you see why I say the knees?   The knees will lead us to God, will lead us to do His will not ours.  Without out it, even if we get the end we desire is it what he desires.   All life is good, but what what if he wanted a different path for you.  Now God will help you along whatever path you end up on, even if it is not your primary call.  What if God wanted your family to remain to but you did everything in your power to adopt/conceive?  He will of course bless you, but you might miss out on graces of being a family of two.  If God calls you to have a larger family then you should pursue that treatment.

I have been thinking a lot about this because we are at standstill in some ways in my treatments.  The ultrasound series revealed that I do indeed have LUF's, the treatments are expensive and not covered.  My doctor recommend we wait.  Surprising I am okay with that.  Instead we are going to focus on my hormone levels and getting me to feel better overall.  We also going to work on improving DH's counts that are horrible low.  We are going to spend this time praying if we want to take the next steps.   We are also praying about big life decisions such as taking new jobs and moving.

I also will be praying for healing.  I am starting a new book call Unbound:

 When I have finished reading it two ladies will pray with me for true healing to start.  I have not been very good about it, put once i really start I plan to blog about it.

I apologize for the lack of writing, I hope once again to be better.  Thank you loyal readers.